Saturday 23rd January 2010
by WillIt seems that the University of Minnesota and the Minneapolis VA Medical Center have invented something akin to Dr. Thomas More’s Qualitative-Quantitative Ontological Lapsometer–the stethoscope of the spirit.
CNN reports that researchers, “found a distinct pattern of brain activity among Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) sufferers. The team used magnetoencephalography (MEG), a brain imaging method that measures how the brain processes information.” This scanner is used to track brain biomarkers, and they say the procedure is 90% accurrate in diagnosing PTSD suffers.
As readers of Percy’s Love in the Ruins will remember, with his trusty lapsometer, Dr. More surveyed Brodmann’s Area 32 in the human brain to assist those afflicted by angelism or bestialism tendencies. Essentially, he was able to help the alienated, anxious, lustful or those suffering from other forms of existential dis-ease.
You might also recall that in Dr. More’s world, our regular old televisions were being replaced by 3-D versions called stereo-Vs. It is nice to know that modern technology is again catching up to Percy. At the recent Consumer Electronics Show, 3-D TVs were all the rage.
Furthermore, politically we know that just as Percy predicted, the center did not hold. “Conservatives have begun to fall victim to unseasonable rages, delusions of conspiracies, high blood pressure, and large bowel complaints. Liberals are more apt to contract sexual impotence, morning terror, and a feeling of abstraction of the self from itself.”
I think I’d better start drinking Early Times and carrying a revolver to prepare for what’s coming next.
Tags: lapsometer, Love in the Ruins
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